I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
