No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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