do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Randomize