I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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