Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
