I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
