sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
