If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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