if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
