you guys were way drunker than both of me
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Randomize