Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
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