It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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