his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
