I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
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