How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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