Soap is not a condiment
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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