Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
