so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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