I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
