Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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