That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize