I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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