winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No subtext here. People are naked.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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