So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
this hospital has no fireball
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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