i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
