just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My dick has a subreddit
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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