we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
