remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
