I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
