Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
