Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
You may now shotgun with the bride
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize