it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
