FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
