Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
