I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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