pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
