it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
