no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
