are you so shy because you have an std?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
So here I am, sexting at work.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
