You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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