you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
