Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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