youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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