Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
