I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Four minutes until I can fart!
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
