I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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