it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
