I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
