the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
