It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
