who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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