so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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