It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
