So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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