just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
high people should be assigned attendants
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
