I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
