So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize