New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
you didnt know i had herpes?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
