I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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