this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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