I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
