I wish I could teleport
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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