I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
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