Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
