i don't like sucking hair
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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